Coming back to country music after leaving it means that I am out of touch with a whole set of country artists who are still making music – and usually making music I like! – that first came into prominence during the 2010’s. So I was not familiar with Lauren Alaina’s work but I’ve included a brief playlist at the top for the songs that I think provide a good context for the song I really want to talk about today, “Thicc as Thieves.”

I have not gone in depth (yet) into my incredible respect and admiration for Lainey Wilson but this song is benefits a lot from the interplay between Lauren and Lainey. Each has a strong, distinctive voice which, along with the panning from left to right during the spoken portions, makes it easy to keep track of who is saying/singing what.

The opening verse just sets the stage in my mind for two women who are enjoying themselves and celebrating not just their bodies but the shared experiences they have based on their physical similarities. These physical traits form the basis for a sisterhood of Southern women throughout the rest of the song.

Thelma and Louise and some faded blue denim
Jumpin’ in them Wranglers, barely gettin’ in’ em
Buttons hanging on, thank God they ain’t giving
Flaunting what we got like we do it for a livin’
Dressed to kill (dressed to kill) to the nines (to the nines)
I got her back (she got my back) and she got mine

The chorus does most of the heavy lifting in this song though and the minor variations or expansions of bridges and verses means that it’s always fun circling around to it.

We’re thicker than our accents, thicker than our hair
Thicker than the Georgia and Louisiana air
Thicker than molasses from the patches to the seams
Stealing hearts is in our jeans
Us southern girls, we’re thicc as thieves, we’re thicc as thieves
We’re thick as thieves, we’re thick as thieves

I am going to strongly disagree with the written lyrics here where the line says that “Stealing hearts is in our jeans.” – in my mind it’s clearly intended to be “genes” as another way of describing this sisterhood of Georgia peaches. I think that the line is just a lot more fun that way and it makes the word play more fun and subtle. As a sung line it’s great though and one of my favorite parts of the song.

All the comparisons to thick things you can find in the South give you a pretty definitive idea of exactly how thicc they are and the closeness of their friendship as well.

There’s a brief bridge about all the contortions and wiggling it takes to get into the tight fitting pants that Lainey and Lauren favor. In my mind it builds up an image of these two jumping and wiggling in their dressing room as they get ready for a show. You can tell they know how silly it can look to get to the finished look you’re after and that is not something they’re embarrassed about – nor should they be.

Little right kick, left kick, shimmy, shimmy, shimmy (yeah, girl)
Bell bottom, high rise (hey), gimme, gimme, gimme (come on)

We come back around for another chorus before Lauren and Lainey expand on the bridge.

Little right kick, left kick, (uh huh) shimmy, shimmy, shimmy
Bell bottom, high rise, gimme, gimme, gimme
(Hey Lainey, what’d that Georgia boy say about us country girls?)
Little right kick, left kick, shimmy, shimmy, shimmy
(Didn’t he say somethin’ about shakin’ it/)
Bell bottom, high rise, gimme, gimme, gimme

In this section the spoken parts form a conversation between the two women and the lyrics describe exactly the kind of look they’re going for in their high rise and bell bottom jeans. It’s a sly sort of conversation here, I don’t believe for a second that Lauren forgot what that Georgia boy said but his reaction surely forms a bit of an inside joke for the two women.

There’s a new bridge followed by the chorus and finally an outro that starts with Lauren making a callback to Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “I Like Big Butts” as she asks Lauren how she even got her pants on. Not to be outdone, Lainey has the last line of the song as she compliments Lauren’s close-fitting jeans before teasing her about all the jumping it took to get them on.

Country girl shake it for me girl (oh my gosh, Lainey, look at your butt)
Shake it for me, girl (girl, how’d you get them bell bottoms yanked up?)
Shake it for me
(Oh my Lord, Lauren, look at that juicy peach)
(Did you have to jump in them britches?)

There’s just a lot here for anyone that enjoys fun lyrics. Thicker than their accents? Their hair? Than molasses? These women have clearly got a lot to be proud of and they know it.